No, we just ended up walking around in his pool high and singing songs by The Wiggles.
This girls' body was nothing short of spectacular...her face, was like the '09 Detroit Lions
My dermatologist just asked me, "what happened here?" referring to the bruising on my nipples. I told her I walked into a door. Thanks for that awkward moment.
Guess who won bingo at the senior center and is going to jail all in the same night?
Oh god I can't handle any more dudes. I just walk of shamed to work wearing a guy's boxers and a life jacket. This summer is going to kill me.
He blended the pizza with water and drank the whole thing. He is my hangover hero
I can't even tell you how many rave sticks I tore apart with my teeth last night.
No. Cease was criminally insane from birthday shots, and not a lot of women want to go home from the bar with a guy who wants to "snuggle but keep it strictly professional".
It's not even 6 am and I've already told my mom to fuck herself in the face
Ah well. Drinking wouldn't be drinking without mystery bruises
Agreed.
That's the 3rd time I've gone home with her and she passed out on me. I poured 6 boxes of cereal on her and left
Wait, there's no way I said I would suck his dick. I know drunk Katie.
No, you told him to suck YOUR dick.
See now that sounds like drunk Katie.
My mom's yelling at me for being a whore and my dad's quizzing me on how to drive in winter weather....I'm home!
You barfed off the front porch while the elderly neighbors were walking their dog. We had to convince them not to call 911.
Pics or it didn't happen.
for future reference, singing eye of the tiger outside my door while i am having sex makes me incredibly uncomfortable
apparently not uncomfortable enough for you to stop
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