i saw a guy balancing a black cat on his head last nite
get a pic
i tried he was too far away anotherguy was walking with paper bags on his feet explain that
i want ur life
my ass just sighed. even my farts are tired.
just threw up into the cup of Gatorade I was hoping would settle my stomach. thanks again, alcohol.
I cannot remember December 31 for the past 3 years. it might as well not even exist on my calendar anymore
Just farted cum and thought I shit myself. Crisis averted tho
im laying here in the parking lot drinking a warm coke, prob still drunk, feeling like i need to apologize to everyone i know
i dont know everytime i see her teeth i get erectile disfunction
idk whats worse playing power hour to yourself, or the fact that you were having fun while doing it
I made him a flow chart of what to do if I got arrested.
He doesn't have any game.. I mean, his one move is forwarding chicks pictures of his penis.
We are buying drugs from a guy with a Jesus fish on his dodge caravan.
He seduced me by making me nachos. It worked.
I just drunkenly accidentally had sex with my boss
Did you at least ask for a raise?
No but I am now the owner of one of either his or his roomate's teeshirts... Maybe I can use it to negotiate?
Well I thought I saw everything and then I saw Christmas themed poop bags at Petco.
The ass gains better be worth it
Randomize
