you might get a letter about the baby you put in me. i was mad when i sent it.
how's this sound. You, me a box of pink franzia and a night full of possibilities in your basemen. I'll be me. You be you. And we'll see where it goes
Bought a water-proof vibrator. Rubber ducky is no longer the one that makes bathtime so much fun.
you kept trying to make scrambled eggs with 3 hardboiled ones.
pretty sure I called you last night to sing Hebrew to you.
it's just one of those nights where i don't care if anyone sees my vagina
And then you'll find yourself a hot chick and leave me behind with nothing but my back fat to keep me company.
He left in the middle of the night, he left his shoes behind and stole my doc martens..size 6 female. Wtf?
And I was like "take off the damn flower crown, we're about to have sex not post an indie picture on tumblr"
why not an indie porn pic then
alcohol and riverdancing are a dangerous mix. have a spraind ankle. i die now
It's five in the morning. wtf?
that game of battleshots got way too fucking intense. why does the couch have burn marks now.
Trust me, I'm a professional lesbian.
Noo not in a booty call way, in a 'How are your abs and penis doing today?' sort of way.
I had no plans to sleep with him, but he had to stay because of the snow. I always say, don't look a gift storm in the mouth.
Went upstairs to make PopTarts, found the door open. Shut it. Saw a grey thing. Opened the door, found a girl sleeping outside. What the fuck happened last nigh
Randomize
