so i woke up this morning covered in mail. none of it is mine.
Who would have sex with her? She looks like she shops at baby gap
"Does your mom know how big your cock is?" Worst dirty talk I've ever had.
He passed out while I was riding him, and just when I was about to call it quits he opens his eyes and squeezes my boobs and goes Honk! Honk!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
and then the other night his penis tricked us both into sex
Let's just go topless and paint glitter over our nipples who the fuck cares
This just became a night full of adventures...and by adventures I mean hitting people with my car
You drunk dialed me and told me to jump out of my second story window so I could give you head. I almost considered it.
It's like the god of all feather dusters, but for your vagina
It really is the softest mustache
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I found three vicadin and a pint of fireball with the note. In case of emergency drink me under their sink.
Why does my therapist keep calling when I jerk off?
I need something for rope burns and an inner ear infection. Separate incidents, FYI..
I'm moving out of my place and I just gave my mom a couch that I had sex on last night. Reduce, reuse, recycle at its best.
I get dinner and bf perks from the one guy. But dick with no commitment from the other. I’m living my best life.
I think I need practice at oral sex
I own a practice facility.
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