wow, i just saw a girl period all over the floor. get my shoes
am i the only one who has tried sucking their own cock????
Do you ever make guys send you dick pictures just cause it's hilarious?
Omg. There's def a kid, like 10 years old, sitting in a buggy at wal mart holding a sign that reads "I can't behave"
I'm pretty sure if an eight year old calls you a whore.. it's true. just saying.
Today was the day I stopped kidding myself and started buying the handle of vodka.
Here. I am here. I do not know where here is but it includes condom balloons, a keg castle, and a shaved goat. Do not find me...I am in post blackout heaven.
Meeting his dad and brother for the first time at the jail while I'm bailing him out ISN'T exactly how I pictured this relationship going....
I just dropped $300 on lingerie. He better rip this off with his teeth.
Hey your work video crashed my computer. The 8 pornos running in the other window didn't. Congratulations.
My cardio is walking around the office looking for free food.
I think clothing becomes optional at the second date! But you seem like a rule breaker
I know, dude. If he ends up having a tiny dick, I will literally pack it back into his pants and leave. Not worth the aggravation.
the police dropped me off. that's how my night went.
So I wore my ankle step-counter exercise thingy while I rode him. Don't fuck him- I only burned .2 pounds.
Randomize
