I had a disgustingly explicit dream last night involving myself and lil wayne.
And God said, "Let there be Twilight," and it was so.
I should injure you considerably.
I feel fat after drinking my meal replacement shake.
I added chocolate sauce, a bsg of m&ms and a crushed up brownie to make it taste better.
Funny, I didnt know that facebook statuses were for crappy song lyrics
Ive never seen someone more dtf than a soaking wet drunk girl who stumbles into your backyard.
I woke up in my girlfriends bed with another guy laying next to me. wtf.
playing nyquil roulette. it entails taking shots of nyquil and hoping it doesnt kick in during sex or in public. game on.
Ohmygod. I don't know if I can explain how great it'll be. I hope you don't mind Subaru sex
Nothing like banging your nurse in the shower while staying in the hospital
Cool. I might be making a sickly but incredibly well dressed wine drunk appearance in a couple hours
I just spilled my beer on a five year old. She's crying but I can promise you I'm more upset.
Bacardi 151 is like a past nightmare I'm still curious about
First things first, I always get more drunk than the birthday girl. Like, who's idea was it to sing karaoke? I killed it.
Hmm should I take my nipple rings out before my sisters wedding/family vacation in Puerto Rico where I will be with my mother 24hrs a day for four days wearing a bathing suit seemingly the entire time? Or should I just risk it and not hug anyone.
Risk it. Keep the titties tough.
Tanner. All u drink. 10 bckaa. Locked in Porto potty outside. Constructed area. Main strrrreeeett. Fuck. Help. Pleese
Randomize
