I love sluts.
I end my prayers with that every single night.
it's a little hard to watch the basketball games with my family considering they keep cheering for the guy that i had a one night stand with...
I have eleven tally marks and an infinity sign drawn on my wrist in permanent marker. Senior bar crawl stole my liver.
She went off on a twilight/new moon tangent before we even got back to my room. i had to jump the ship and pretended to pass out on the sidewalk.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Nothing says I've got my life together like buying a jumbo bottle of 7$ wine in sweat pants on a monday night
The bartender gave me the kids toys. Paddle ball & a gecko.
Im so tired of dysfunctional exs fucking up my relationships with future dysfunctional exs
i was beyond wasted so he tucked me into bed and wrapped the blankets around me like a burrito. then gave me a bloody mary and an omlet when i woke up. and who says living with your cousin is a bad thing?!
We were simultaneously boning chicks 3 feet away from each other. Do you realize how much that upped our 15 year friendship?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You decided it was too difficult to walk down the stairs so you just rolled across his kitchen floor laughing like a maniac and trying to drink at the same time
Wrong. I really wanted to see the movie. And she was on top of me like she was riding a mechanical bull. Who am I to complain? I live to serve.
TELL HER ABOUT THE GODDAMNED MOTHERFUCKING POTATOES
part of it says your brother mayyyy have put his lips on my vagina
My vagina! What have you done to it?
Blessed it my child.
Southwest doesn't have zingzang bloody Mary mix. I'm gonna file a complaint with the FAA
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