I plan on using my big titties for evil tonight.
and i looked up. we had an audience...
He really likes Obama...and Bill Clinton too. He said "I mean, how many presidents can say that they got head in the oval office?"
Soulmates.
i'm considering texting him with "i'm leaving the country for a year, wanna fuck?"
do it. it's every man's dream.
I'm at Home Depot to get supplies to fix the wall we cracked by fucking too hard against the bookshelf.
Thats why you have fulfilling relationships with nice girls and i have kinky sex with crazies
I'm crossing my legs while pooping. Taking a shit has never looked so proper.
Dude, she sent me a nude of her posing in the mirror and her dad was in the reflection
This is actually a pretty big deal for him. I mean, he contacted a stranger out of concern for someone else instead of for sex.
That does show growth.
I'm tellin ya, let the nipple get some air, they'll hire u on the spot, lawyers love a little nip
Well it ended with everyone taking a bite out of a raw potato and a girl crying because her boyfriend wouldn't bring her any grape juice. So yeah...I'd say the night was a success.
My mom is currently out with her lesbian friends and I'm home alone drunk listening to the Les Miserables soundtrack. WHY DO I FEEL THE NEED TO COMPETE WITH HER?
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... Men can be so sensitive...
Gays age differently than straights. 29 is like 45 in gay years. Next year I'll be in adult diapers and applying for medicaid.
unless you want this visit to have a different tone... more romantic, less molly in a hotel room
Randomize
