My new storm is the chrons
The only reason I needed a new one is bc I threw up on my other one(248): And since Verizon doesn't have a throw up test, I was eligible for a new one
I dated that bitch for 9 months and didnt get as much as a hand job. I met her sister last night for the first time and smashed that...twice
I respect that
she screamed"i told you already! counter clockwise spiral and the clockwise spiral!!" right in the middle of sex
wow, i never thought dating a choreographer would be so harsh
my left tit made it into the crop job on your profile pic, I knew it was good for other things
The gay viking and his eqyptian 'queen' hooked up on our couches. They pushed them together to make a bed. Innovative, but awkward to come home from work to at 7 am.
Like hey, "you just spent $135k to go to a nobody law school to drive a mini van, be a dj, live in a smalllll ass apartment that smells like cats and your girlfriend fucks other guys."
Dude you of all people would miss her giving him a handjob in front of the whole party
Our relationship is representative of a cognitive bias that leads to bad decision making and misplacement of resources. So should we pick up some whiskey tomorrow?
It's no longer hooking up, we have definitely graduated to Sport Fucking....
If I spent my amateur stripper money does that mean I am cleansed of my sins?
When she tells her friend, "hey I'll be back tomorrow, just going to fuck a guy", right in front of you, you know you've got a winner.
I think I fell asleep on the dance floor at one point...but played it off cool and acted like I just did the robot.
I put miralax in my rum/coke. Go hard or go home.
Why does everyone always assume I'm fucking their boyfriends?
You are fucking her boyfriend.
last final went out with a bang.. 20 min late bra-less, cum in my hair and i still cant find my shoes.
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