sorry about last night, sometimes people just get drunk and have sex witht heir friends
I know, I was there.
He's a collector of sorts
Any cool stuff?
You should see the collection of booggers in the carpet next to his desk
I was so drunk i thought Kathy Griffin was funny
did i by any chance text you anything about feathers last night?
you mean faeutihaers?
I want to apologize in advance in the event I put my boobs in your face
We were showing our tits to everyone because it's breast cancer awareness month and we care deeply
I thought we were doing it cause it's Tuesday
There were midgets. And vodka. If you don't appreciate the awesomeness of that sentence, read it again.
Dancing naked to Celine dion - im alive. No better way to start the day
Dude Carly, it's like, inconvinent how often you cause me to have an erection
Had to drive my booty call home because he had an asthma attack after we had sex .. How was your night?
I changed his contact info to "NO" and a picture of satan
Do you think I could use my teacher of month Award to get free drinks?
My hair tie broke, stole my one-night stands daughters pink sparkly one. BEST hair-tie I have ever used...
I wasn't supposed to sleep w him. So of course I sent him gps location to my bed.
He's eating a sriracha ravioli sandwich. How do you think the night is going?
Randomize
