Dub. In the bra. Dub in the bra.
Someone told me that drinking would get me no where in life. Drinking has gotten me everywhere in life.
Good cause the way I see it, we are down to DAYS left of college so we should have as much naked fun as possible. And Jenga really facilitates that.
The nurse told me they're using the same medicine that killed michael jackson.
I just peeled a layer of cum off my eyelid. Don't even tell me that's not why you came over
I keep having to talk dad out of putting tequila in the milkshakes.
If I have to take him to the hospital, I'm drawing dicks on his face
all i remember of last night is that i was drinking jameson and then NOTHING i do remember walking a dog though\nwhich is sooo fucking weird
OH MY GOD ITS COMING BACK I PUT THE DOG IN THE HOTTUB TOO
I went home with a guy last night because he showed me some magic tricks and kept shouting "THEY'RE ILLUSIONS MICHAEL!"
He has a bed frame and a headboard.... That match his dresser and nightstand...
Hahah. That's good.
I feel like you don't understand the severity with which this weirds me out...
Thank you for helping a fellow gay friend today. You are sublime and deserve free tickets to the Ellen show
You are the ghost of drunk bitches past, present, and future.
It was dumb but not something to force me into sobriety
Once someone takes a shit in your toilet they are no longer a guest.
Ever find a porn video so groundbreaking you mentally cancel all your Dick Appointments for the week?
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