Hope the move went well! I'll miss you!
you are a cunt and I hated living with you and your skeezy boyfriend.Just thought I'd get that out there.
My mom just drunkenly told me i was conceived in the back of a car, at a Bon Jovi concert.
i never realize how drunk i am until i start using people as human stripper poles
You were so drunk that some guy dressed as Harry Potter pointed his wand at you and screamed "Accio SHITSHOW"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just got an Edible Arrangement my parents sent me for my birthday. Time to marinate some fruit in vodka.
Well when you're drinking tequila mixed with water out of a steve Austin cup I really don't think acquiring a straw is your main priority
I woke up in bed alone w 2 bite marks on my boob... Salt and pepper shakers In my purse along w a bottle of steak sauce.... The drunkasauraus has struck again
That commercial was clearly aspirational. I think Arbor Mist would pair nicely with Oscar Meyer
Post walk of shame: realized the underwear I put on when I left was another girl's underwear.... woof
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There is nothing wrong with me introducing you as elephant dick. Nothing.
How did I pull off convincing everyone that my name is Dad? Maybe they were just distracted by my boobs.
He caught me shoving meatballs into my mouth using my hand. Fuck utensils. It’s Christmas...and this is why I’m single.
They are good meatballs.
the girls would appreciate it if you invited over some drunk, single, straight men with low standards.
I’m tired of his bullshit and premature ejaculation. I’m going to hotel bars and finding a guy who is DTF
We still on for Manwhore Monday?
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