It wasn't awkward until he started humming the Rocky theme song in the middle of fucking
seriously i just wanna be friends
pass
My facebook horoscope today said I will have a little "confusion". Obviously astrology understands a blackout.
I have to be home in time to watch my friend on that Lifetime show about having babies. And by friend, I mean the girl I had a lesbian experience with at a party 3 years ago.
I was in a house full of lesbians and they were all staring at me. I felt like the last cresent roll on Thanksgiving.
Santa was walking around downtown handing out stuff at the bars. He gave me a free eyebrow wax. I think he's trying to tell me something
I'm sorry for gagging during our first time having sex
I was drunk
Please answer
adding to the list of how to lure in freshman boys: take dogs for a walk, yell at them from across the street, sit on the curb at 3 in the morning sobbing
This isn't a because its valentines day booty call, it's a because your cock is phenomenal booty call that happens to be on valentines day..
I feel like drug tests are a little less "random" when you are employed by your father.
Dude you better come get your girl, she's sitting here eating a tub of pasta salad muttering to herself about gypsies.
I'm so pissed theres no male strip clubs around where we are staying I looked extensively
You can't break up with me. I brought you to see Beyoncé.
I told you for Halloween we just need to let the loins free! Let the girth come to us in a flock, drenched with passion!
well you're talking to a woman who had glorious sex less than 24 hrs ago so my opinion is biased.
Randomize
