Just lost my virginity while listening to rick astley. torn between horror and jubilation
i've got to stop sleeping with short guys. they always turn into stage 5 clingers
I used puppy pads next to the couch for her to throw up on....
Seriously wondering if smoking a bowl for lunch was a bad idea.
OR THE BEST. STAY TUNED.
She straight up told me, "I don't care if he films as long as he's quiet." You sure you can't find the camera?
Dude she let me install handle bars on her headboard. I should have nailed my boss years ago.
That doesn't mean I'm a slut. Unless McFlurries are involved.
I will rub McFlurries all over you.
You should imdb "mourning wood" to see what I'm doing with my $80,000 English degree today
She cracked her neck before the blowjob and I knew shit just got real.
So good news, aparently I blacked out and tried to go in the back of the mcdonalds to thank the people for makin my fries
I didn't want sex last night, but she charmed my dick out of my pants like a snake charmer.
How's everyone else's ass tattoo today?
lol hangovers are for mortals.
I don't want to spend an inordinate amount of time with you, I want to have sex with you. Duhhhhhh.
How was it?
i think i smell bacon but im to sore to walk downstairs. that kinda night
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