so wait, they're fucking, but it doesn't count as cheating cause they only do anal?
soo I had sex last night and he wore a condom, pulled out sans condom. we looked everywhere and couldnt find it, even in my vag. so Im in the library at school and I googled it and it gave me "gentle digging" techniques, and sure enough, found it. ew. I'll be purchasing Plan B after class.
I actually don't know if I can stand up. I just know better than to try
I am wrecking havoc on the skinny girls by going home with the big one. She is taking me to see her dog now.
Next time we smoke don't let me talk. I just said something and it sounded like I was speaking in hashtag.
OH GOD NOT SANTA BABY. NO NO NO. YOU'RE LIKE 85. OMG MULTIPLE WOMEN. NO NO NO STAHP.
He tried to puke in the 14th hole and when I told him to stop he started chanting "hole in one hole in one"
It's gay pride, I'm in my EMT uniform getting more girls than your straight ass ever will..
I think I've been there, but who knows? I drink a lot
I asked my boyfriend if he wanted a bong for his birthday but he instead asked for corndogs
the cheaper the better
how am i in montreal? thats like a 3 hour train ride. i remember nothing.
I'm actually glad the whole thing's over now. It's exhausting to fake a pregnancy.
Imagine not having to fake it.
Yeah, I should never have kids, probably.
I told her I'd rather set my hair on fire than sleep with her again. In retrospect, that was probably too harsh. My eye is still swollen shut.
Like I'll lick your nuts to make you feel better if you don't get it
There’s a stripper dressed like a slutty pilgrim. Is that a thing?
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