More dangerous that a broken heart and a shotgun.
One of my students just wrote an essay on how ninjas, like drug addicts, must realize they need help before they can get better...I gave it an A+
he just kept saying that he had liquor dick..then he tried to fuck me without removing his pants.
She had her laptop open and there was microsoft word opend and all was written was "no italianoo"
Handle of 100 proof captain dressed like a pilgrim here we go
Not sure if he was actually hot or hot in a "he brought a live chicken to the party" kinda way but I got his # regardless
Please please please buy brown eye liner on your way home in the morning... I'm missing an eyebrow
Definitely want to eloquently cunt punt those bitches thru the field goals of life.
Packing a mid day bowl in the Sonic parking lot. Have I gone too stoner?
I have a rash on my arm from the cat litter. Think the cat will be mad that I peed in its box?
She came out of my bathroom wearing nothing but high top Converse, a leather jacket and a tongue stud. I love rock bars.
Sabotage it. Cum quick. Make it awkward so you don't hurt her feelings. Who says nice guys finish last?
90% sure the total babe I have been talking to all night has a kid. Ugh, so sad right now.
Im so high
I got wing sauce on the baby and licked it off. If you were wondering how I'm doing.
Please don't give away my fajitas
Randomize
