He thanked me for being "his little blond pogo stick last night". Good thing?
ive come to the point where weve hung out more times sober than drunk. i think im growing up. fuck.
there were staples in my comforter. what kind of sex did we even have?
dude wearing that thong all day was not worth the 7 bucks
if things do not go as planned you should see me walking down I81 blindfolded and pantless
Just got attacked by a family of raccoons, I have the worst luck.
May the one with the liver that just won't quit win
So... I woke up on a bench with a honey bun on my chest.
sooo the guy I beat last night in strip pong is the manager's husband at my new job...
You caught me at a bad time. I'm stoned enough that I'm ready to sleep but also not stoned enough that I wanna smoke again but also stoned enough to not wanna drive anywhere
a guy just skateboarded past my window in a bunny suit while chased by a dog walker
I've pulled 4 ticks off of me. This is the last time I suck dick in the wild.
We were so amazed while watching mission impossible ghost protocol last night we didn't even have sex
I just drunkenly accidentally had sex with my boss
Did you at least ask for a raise?
No but I am now the owner of one of either his or his roomate's teeshirts... Maybe I can use it to negotiate?
When I woke up I was spooning with a block of cheese. Like, cuddling. Me and the cheese we nestling...
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