"Worlds Wildest Videos" should be called "Crazy White People"
Just tried to tap morse code on the wall seperating our beds to tell you I was awake and ready to smoke
just looked in the mirror, I fell asleep with a face mask on. At least drunk me cares that much about the condition of my skin
oh my god, there is an imprint from the nuva ring in the christmas card my mom sent me. merry christmas.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just told you I can't. My fingers are melting. I have discovered the high.
while you've been gone this has kinda turned into some sort of fivesome-type thing. just thought i should warn you for when you get back
he needs to hurry and make his mind up... i mean i can't keep getting peed on by a guy who isn't even my boyfriend
I wish they'd wear their tampons on the outside. At least gimme some warning
He filled four shots of Everclear and walked around saying "FREE VODKA SHOTS". he is to blame.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey will pizza rolls help if you accidentally get a diabetic chihuahua drunk?
You're the third person who's asked me for an afternoon blow connection in one day. Unreal.
That's more of a you-issue than a me-issue
His chest is so hairy i want to pet it with my nipples.
So my mom wants to hear about my weekend. How do I make licking cupcake frosting off your face while high not sound like just that?
Nothing says I love you like a silicone dragon dick
I had a sex dream about Fox Mulder, and the Royals just won the World Series. My life is complete.
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