Youre a pretentious asshole and im not sure who you think you are. Get the hell over yourself and the self righteous culture snob image because its pretty obnoxious.
hey did I tally my arm again of # of shots?
nope, you were tallying rejections at the party
They refer to his house as "the abortion clinic". Cant wait.
I dislocated my rib eating pizza. I think I am broken.
I am currently explaining what double penetration is to the bridesmaid I hooked up with at my cousin's wedding. This is my life.
The last thing I remember is feeding country fried steak to my best friend in a bubble bath with my bare hands.
For our final psych experiment, we're conditioning Tim to hump the nearest inanimate object and/or person every time he hears a Ke$ha song
Either I'm too drunk or she gave me a hand job to the rhythm of jingle bells.
I'm at a restaurant. I am NOT about to discuss my asshole over the phone.
90 seconds of pumping and 2 months of bragging all summer. So much for my reputation here.
woke up to find i out made out with his roommate before hooking up with him. breakfast was awkward to say the least
Is it totally terrible that I just signed up for classes and already found the guy I'm going to bang??
Something tells me tonight will end with me wearing my pants on my head again.
Woke up with an entire pizza face down in my bed beside me... untouched. Never beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
He cut off part of his middle finger playing the knife game while singing The Knife Game Song at the top of his lungs. He also scream like a girl when his finger hit the floor and he realized he fucked up.
Randomize
