he just referred to himself as the billy mays of his frat.. heres how to order
Why do you have Season One of Reba in your underwear drawer?
Why are you in my underwear drawer?
just apologized to a random stranger while waiting in line for coffee. last night was that drunk
for halloween i should be pregnant. what is scarier than that?!
I have a new fascination with cutting really small segments of hair off peoples heads when they're not looking.
just googled chastity belt to see if it really exist..
How do I invite him to our 4th of July cookout without sounding too much like "hey you were my first orgasm and I want your dick inside my while watching fireworks"
My neighbor just watched me eat a granola bar without pants, this is a whole new level of unemployed
You promised me a handle of vodka if I took home her ugly friend. Thanks to law class I took for the 2nd time I know that's a unilateral contract asshole
Yes. Amanda is the only option and I want cake so I can sacrifice my vagina.
No shame December is a go.
I'm sitting here bra-less eating jalepeno candied bacon. You know you want this.
Coming.
I wanna just rip ass and see his reaction but i bet itd be better to shatter that illusion when hes drunk
Tell me not to drink and get on ladders. I think I need the reminder.. I'm clumsy enough sober.
How do I explain to work that I woke up in my underwear on a trampoline and that I'm not coming in?
I refuse to shit my pants for anyone except Cher and Christina Aguilera!
Randomize
