In these economic times, linking arms taking tequilla shots with your boss as an underage girl is the best job security I can think of
I'll let you put expensive food in me, but really, not much else.
And Anthony pissed on himself at the strip club
yah I made NO friends last night. at one point i think i replaced talking with spitting
She got a tattoo in memory of her cat, my attratcion to her is no more.
Just found a shot glass and plan b in my backpack...
Im guessing the shot glass is for plan c?
Fuck men. I'm going to go eat a package of cookie dough and get fat. I hope I die of salmonella.
Well I consider my vagina a dear friend. She treats me good I treat her good. We work together. Glad we could be of service.
Call me something sexy & ethnic. Like jasmine. But mystical too. Like Mermaid Jasmine. And throw Glitter somewhere in there too.
I did not have sex with him because he had a puppy…finding out he had a husky pup waiting back at home was just an unexpected plus
By far the fardest thing to do drunk is open a band aid
I had to give myself a suppository. That was the LEAST fun I've had inserting things in my ass.
Hey, I left a taco in your dishwasher.
THIS IS NOT A LAUGHING MATTER, CAITLIN. MY PARENTS ARE FUCKING. LOUDLY.
We really gotta wear capes to the bar more often...
Randomize
