Is it normal to miss your booty call?
this wart on my finger ripped off while i was fingering this girl the other night. she thought she had gotten her period and started crying so i went with. its better for both of us that way
I woke up with a crunchy, pink Pepto streak through my hair, no recollection of the last 6 hours of my night and the feeling that all the hotel's staff knew me on a first name basis.
It was great. Even bought me breakfast in the AM
From?
Well, he didn't exactly take me out, but left a $20 on the table...
i just heard her through the wall saying "not on my face! NOT on my face!" then a scream and "I SAID NOT ON MY FACE!!!"...nice work dude.
Best idea ever: Giving hobos a beer and having a chugging contest to win another beer. Most fun I have had downtown in a while.
Your my favorite hello and hardest goodbye.
And I especially mean that last part, half the time you pass out somewhere and it is impossible to get you to leave.
come back what if one of your parents walks in and im just sitting here eating a cheesesteak without you
Crazy how fast a room full of drunk teenagers sober up when someone breaks his parents' new flat screen
Hiding the dark circles under my eyes this morning was like trying to hide a Beached Whale on the Couch eating Pita chips.
so I guess I made a note in my phone last night to remind myself not to do shrooms on the cruise ship
I'm still working on figuring out my birthday blowjob schedule. I'd love to just have all three of them get in there but I get the feeling they wouldn't like that.
there's a 50/50 chance the night will end in alcohol-induced rituals of satanic nature
Do you know how hard it is to have sex on an air matress while there are people sleeping in the same room?!?!?
we woke up when the front wall of the house caught fire.
Randomize
