i just turned barefoot contessa into a drinking game. everytime she uses a knife butter or salt i drink.
it doesn't count as moral degradation if you win the strip off -right?
explain to me why "crisis hotline lolz" is in my contacts?
Just saw an old man buy two cases of keystone light, a case of milwaukee's best and a case of icehouse. Degenerate alcoholic of senior citizen of the year?
I'm so glad i pay social security
17 year olds will be the death of me.
Whatever you gave me is making me lactate
He was like an artic tracker. Walked ten paces from the tree, then 15 paces from the mailbox, dug down in the snow, and pulled up the case of beer he hid from his parents out there. It tasted like ice cold success.
yeah that's what i said...you fucked him and peed on his comforter
yeah well...Like any great yacht, I leave a wake
The door opens out but somehow she managed to kick it in..
Well two things you gotta know if you're gonna live here. your alcohol tolerance is gonna need to go up, and people do blow. Get used to it. Nobody is gonna pressure you into it. That shits expensive
I'm sure it's not the worst thing to ever come out of my ass
He wants Portugal to lose so badly he threw out all the sangria. You know how depressing it is to watch someone dump 4 gallons of heaven?
let’s face it, me joining a co-ed soccer league is like, 33% motivated by my crotch seeking a healthy outlet
Was I trying to make a threesome happen again?!
Yep
I need to stop doing that, Im gonna get punched in the face
The cure for a hangover evidently is not walking around in a costume in the sun towards of park of screaming children
Randomize
