NEED BACKUP we are in the kitchen arguing about who would win in fight against lil Wayne and snoop dog
turns out Discover card thinks that if you spend $450 at four different liquor stores in one evening that the card "must have been stolen"
Its the Friday before break. There are 20 kids in my 300 person lecture hall. All with the same what the fuck am I doing here look on there face.
My co-worker just asked me if i colored my hair. Time to take a shower.
Dude they have ski ball. Anywhere that has skiball is bound to be bangin.
My doctor literally wrote on the script NO SEX
i seriously have like 9 pictures of people taking shots out of a vag on my camera....
I think they're German
Just say lederhosen and see what happens
So I hooked up with a guy with a mustache and woke up on a dragon futon underneath a dragon yin-tang tapestry... My life is spiraling in a weird way.
It was super embarrassing when I had to tell my brother, in front of my mother, that my wifi password was Drinkupbitches. Thanks for providing that lovely family moment.
I just found out two girls I dated met each other, bonded over how much they hate me, started dating and are gonna get married soon.
So, my love of dick may have landed me in a cult. On the bright side, I now have a discount at Spencer's.
We fucked to Bonnie Tyler in my car. He's the one.
i showed up really high and was trying to not be,so in order to not seem high, i got plastered
he is sitting in the driveway by himself laughing at nothing, idk what to do
Randomize
