My brain says no but my pants say off.
Those 2 guys from the sonic commercial will be virgins for life.
I just saw a man salute the budweiser truck on the highway. I want to follow him and shake his hand.
I was freaked out. No man over 50 is allowed to touch me. Ever. Unless you're Michael Bolton. Then please do.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just found a plastic cup with panties inside of it. Let's play CSI.
you should have walked with me to my car. you just missed a girl rip off her bra and throw it into a dumpster and scream mardi gras
this dude, we had a connection. he kept smiling at me. it's like he knew i was gonna facebook stalk the fuck out of him
My gut is currently telling me that Jesus did not intend for us to eat shrimp pad thai on Easter
Is this a considering it or regretting it text?
I just shit out what feels like an entire shrimp with claws and all. You tell me.
I don't know if I'm feeling really nervous right now or just extremely horny.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How could she say that about my foreskin when she hasn't even seen all the cool stuff I can do with it?
Men are too sensitive. They need to learn to handle me.
never planned on seeing last weekend's one night stand again, much less be on the same plane as him..
Dude, I woke up with wet dollar bills in my boxers where did you take me???
I woke up and there is a small Irish man playing call of duty in my room. Discuss.
OH GOD IT TASTES LIKE IT SMELLS
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