my dad wants uyo to call him right now...reverse drunk dialing
Just found a shot glass and plan b in my backpack...
Im guessing the shot glass is for plan c?
Well the party says they're going to have three kegs and four trampolines. I think I'm going to invite my EMT buddies just to be safe.
Did we both pass out talking about cake last night?
Just a smidgen more estrogen and shed be golden
She's got a legit dose of dude going on
No kidding. All she needs is a cheek full of chewing tobacco and I'd have fucked John wayne.
Lol. No. We cannot eat chicken while we have sex. No.
I told you, I don't give a SHIT about their music. I JUST. WANT. TO FUCK. THE BASSIST.
Um please remind me to tell you what happened tonight. It involves wine, pain killers and firing a handgun in our apartment. Legit might be hiding from the cops this weekend.
Celebrating anything "Eve" is never a good choice! I feel like my soul's been put in a blender on the "destroy" setting- in other news: Happy 4th of July
Just had empanadas for breakfast while watching Wall-e with my yesterday's one night stand mother AND grandmother.
Im pretty sure my housekeeper high fived her on the way out this morning
Meet at Walmart straight from work to buy items for hurricane fun. Then blast some wine, make some sex, blast a bowl and cuddle each other till the sun comes up?
That's the most romantic New Orleans hurrication I've ever heard of. Can I have your babies?
I think I fucked the doubts about us out of him
Taking a walk while tripping face during Halloween time was a bad idea. I started crying bc I was so scared and hide in the parks playground.
Dude just saw some some guy puke out of a car window on the highway going to school.
Randomize
