So there are ramen noodles in the shower you need to explain...
if i remember New Year's Eve then there is something seriously wrong.
That weatherman I hooked up with is on TV again
So High I just made Cadbury Coffee. I don't know what it is yet, but it involves Cadbury Eggs and coffee.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
all nice guys are gay and all hot ones are assholes
You're fat. Stop making excuses
bars should really give you discounts for bringing your own shot glass
Our new goal for this summer is to fuck so hard we lose his security deposit.
They got a 10 foot tall beach ball from the roof of a McDonalds. Get the fuck over here.
So that wine I told you about is vile...
That the stuff you brewed in your dorm closet? Are you actually going to drink it?
Yup. It's drinkable. Might go blind, but I've got to use my chemistry minor for something.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Did you actually just quote Ace Ventura during a sext!?
You know it
Dammit now I have to marry you
Thx for last night. I've never had so much fun while being told my life decisions are questionable at best.
Just learned that the cute guy I've been flirting with at the beach this whole time is actually an inmate working in the community instead of being in prison.. My life is unreal
A condom just fell out of me. Happy Tuesday.
I accidentally just texted my dad asking if he wants to do shrooms with me. Do I leave the city now or...
Ya that dick wasn't worth burning a perfectly good pizza.
You live and learn.
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