im sitting in the back of my pickup eating an artichoke. please come find me, im scared.
that was a mass text, wasnt it?
I mean I gotta puke to be skinny, wax to be hairless, and drink to be fun. Life isn't easy.
and then the other night his penis tricked us both into sex
Can you deep fry cheerios do you know? crucial question
just tried googling 24 hr taco bell and when i typed "24 hour" it autocompleted with fitness. buzzzz killllll
she got into med school, i feel dumb for banging her dance major friend
Excellent idea. Nothing says "congrats for resurrecting yourself, Jesus" like Greygoose at noon!
You did it first. I was merely expressing my support for you, by pressing my testicles against a window.
We are magical, pot smoking, smart as hell, single as fuck, woodland dolphins.
Oh and I'm kind of in the library.
Waiting for the foreign guy who keeps staring to make his creepy move.
i just googled coccaine effects on sexual performance..maybe im dating the wrong guy
Can you send me the pictures of me riding the penis
What's life without a pregnancy scare?
Drink drank drunk tankkkkn, LETS GO
He was married to his college girlfriend for 20 years. Just give him the blow job he’s been fantasizing about since last century and he’ll be wrapped around your little finger
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