So how Liz Lemon is this? I bring a boy home, we get in bed, and I realize there's a lean pocket wrapper in the sheets.
you just kept swimming in circles and whenever someone would try and coax you out you would scream "i CANNOT drown, my brother is the supervisor of a water park!!
random question: do you know anywhere in the tri-state that has elephant racing? this is a work related question.
He told me I just kept sending him the word sex and dollar signs.
There's sex hanging in the air like a pinata. European people are no joke.
just letting you know, you took a hit of the blunt while sleeping. happy birthday
Idk. Each time I ask him about double teaming a woman with Dennis Rodman he just giggles. We will never know what to believe.
That gas station is used for only two things, picking up moonshine and getting murdered. Only two outcomes.
Dad and I are shitfaced screaming at Canadians in Walmart. Life is good.
We'll find out our level of friendship after tonight. You'll be helping me move a body. My body.
i know. like I have the nerve to talk about poverty. I eat peanut butter out of the jar.
Last night you made me help you pick the raisins out of a kashi bar and acted like it was the most important thing to ever happen to you or our friendship
Does Jesus have blonde highlights? Pretty sure I saw him in a lavender shirt and Sperry's.
PENIS EMOJIS WOULD MAKE MY LIFE SO MUCH EASIER GAH WHY DOES THE WORLD HATE ME
God gave you your own nipples for a reason.
Randomize
