Alarm just got pulled in my exam
Swear it wasn't me
Get out of your relationship and into my pants.
omg my older sister has been googling "how do I know if I've had an orgasm?" and "bj tips". the family laptop is not meant for this...
I'm 99% sure I high fived a girl over mashed potatoes last night
Bering your kids um. Abiout tol. Throw up
constantly striving to make life awkward and more complicated, one drunk bone at a time.
I'm really glad that we can be casual hook up buddies. This is a true friendship. Now, please convince your roommate to do the same. Thanks.
I'm starting to think that birthday sex is just an urban legend. Like the boogey man, and woman orgasms.
I only know one person in my class and that's my dealer.
I want to buy weed from this guy on Tinder but I'm not sure I should trust him...but it's free delivery
I just found weed in my bra #magicboobs2k16
So, I've discovered that I'm approximately 70% nicer to my mother when I've had an orgasm in the last 48 hours. It's science.
I just chased my hot mailman down the street to ask him out and now I am 98% positive he gave me a fake number.
He listens to me complain and in return I send him naked pictures. It's a win win situation
I need you to sex the hangover out of me again.
Randomize
