I want to buy you liquor! I want to kiss your face.
Seriously. Doesn't matter if I went out last night, work is like crafts class w.a side of facebook
mom and dad googled us on the weekend. i love the internet less than i did on friday.
Its like I was sleeping with a kid. His gum fell into my hair while sleeping and he just wanted to cuddle.
After he told me that it's up to him to carry on his family name, I almost felt bad for not letting him cum inside me.
I'm pretty sure it all started going downhill last night when they suggested I see how much sambuca I could fit in my mouth
I lost count after the 4th body shot but I think I'm wearing at least 3 different peoples clothes.
We're in ER. He's high on morphine and I'm drunk. Gonna score some bed pans for jello shots.
The sorority chicks were the Persian army, and we were their 300 Spartans. Can barely stand up now...such a good ratio
You told my mom you were going to "Raw Dawg some randoms." That Drunk.
Nah. And this is true. It's like you were trained by sexual Jedi or something.
*jedi wave* this is the penis you were looking for
I think I met somebody from your birthday this past weekend. He said I held a push up contest outside the bar and told them I would make out with the winner. He said he won..
Today is the day I die from a hangover. I love you, mom. Farewell.
I'm still working on figuring out my birthday blowjob schedule. I'd love to just have all three of them get in there but I get the feeling they wouldn't like that.
probably because i sent a bunch of guys a snap saying happy one year to my nipple piercings
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