and technically it was a rebound
so lol
and then you got rebounded for the same girl he rebounded you for and still never scored ... it was like watching an LA Clippers game
She thought I was gay, so I told her I'd be more comfortable with anal. She agreed.
I woke up face first on my living room floor arms outstretched toward the christmas tree
The worst mistakes make the best memories. Write that down.
just fit an iguana in a condom...have pics
just looked up how to break up with someone nicely on google. glad to know im not the only one who looks up this shit.
You said your dick dragged you up the stairs
What's the appropriate way to phrase "If you ever leave your wife give me a call. But we can still have sex periodically until then."??
Tried to ride the mechanical bull pants less, got punched for making out with some lesbians wife, and you tipped the bartender with a can of skoal.
I regret nothing
I woke up smelling like chlorine with a broke toe. They know how to fucking party on lake lanier.
I feel like I got ass raped in the brain.
I should not be so motivated by a penis, but I am
Uh oh we had sex and I don't think I like him anymore help
It's only funny because he thinks you had sex with him to rob him.
You were lost on foot. Texted us and told us that N*Sync couldn't save you, and then you "met Jesus" in your car.
I'm really busy with my period
Randomize
