Thanks again for letting me crash last nite. Sorry I banged your little brother.
arkansas has a gas station called kum and go....story of my life
I need like a "Cookong High for Idiots" book. Or a car.
Well, I guess this was as good a night as any to find out I don't know how to use my fire extinguisher.
While I was banging her, her cell rang. She checked to see who it was, answered it, and moaned, "I'm dumping you."
I am not kidding you. There is an airport luggage cart overturned in my driveway. We need to stop going to the airport bar.
I can do it, this is my punishment and I will accept it, plus id like to see the look on peoples faces when I throw up on them
Just paid off my possession ticket on 4/20. Helloooo awesome.
I dont know what we smoked last night but I woke up and found out I started writing a book called White Trash Princess. Its the best thing Ive ever read
Ugh. I guess I'm crying loudly or something. My mom just came in and gave me milk, chocolate, a Xanax, and her weed "for the break up blues". Her ways of affection are so odd.
A kid in my class today just asked if we have class on the 17th, then announced that he couldn't go anyways because it was the day after his 21 and he was going to be too hungover
Dude he's moving to fucking Germany now. What is it about your vagina that makes men want to flee the continent?
We were just getting out tux's at men's warehouse he pulled both of the fitting room girls. I dont think he should be getting married
Its safe now. But... Nobody should sleep on my bed tonight.
man do I wish I knew who this naked guy in my room was...
Randomize
