lol earlier she was acting like a normal gf... and then BANG! shes touching herself again...
Hurry up I might actually study if I am left alone
the girl next to me at the bar JUST looked down at her vagina and said "im going to get you fed". if i come home alone tonight...i give you permission to cut off my penis
We got back together. The pastures weren't greener on the other side, the dicks were just smaller
I just realized that there are baby oil soaked hand prints on the wall over my bed. Last night was a good night.
We saluted the chips to the national anthem before cooking them. The house has to get a munchies fryer
I pretty much landed into this relationship penis first
His name is Dustib. Not a typo. I just can't.
my paper on vitamins just turned into a 2 hour tangent google search on what i should buy to best cure a hangover. I need to stop getting high before homework
Playing pong against a girl who fucked my ex boyfriend so that's how my nights going
Had to lock my cat in the bathroom so I could masturbate in peace.
So.. I was kinda upset i got the bad fuck out of the situation
My feet surprised me
Ahhh the shame of taking out my recycling
You talk the same way I hallucinate.
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