Dude, I found out the hard way that she wipes back to front. I ate her out and had to throw up.
White boys cant dance....we did an empirical study
i'm not going because i feel like it's just gunna be a "this is your life" who i banged this years addition
I can't wait to get all this Makers out of my shoe.
well, 500 bucks doesn't grown on trees, and i need that bear suit for any chance of vagina access.
No. No. And hell no. If you are driving a Honda Fit you are not allowed to give me a dirty look. No.
It's a gateway drink.... Starts with wine... Then I wake up in my car with mascara on my arms covered in french fries...
no one was sober enough to set up jenga so we just threw the pieces at the last person to drink
Back of his car in the Starbucks parking lot WITH HIS APRON STILL ON. Check and Mate.
Holy shit. You won barista bingo AND the Triple Crown in one day.
How many band members does it take to become The Band Slut? I think I might be dangerously close
And I'm determined to make an Eiffel Tower happen sometime. I just don't know who will take the pic (first world sex problem?)
Your actions as of last night have earned you over thirty new nicknames.
Just walked by a girl saying to her friend "honestly you coulda given me any dude and I woulda fucked him"
You should've introduced yourself
I'm glad you found someone that both loves you and is cool doing coke off your tits. Proud of you.
I think I won an award for shitting and vomiting at the same time.
Randomize
