At the bar. Guy comes up wearing a hollister shirt and says "lets blow this popsicle stand"
You fucking left with him didn't you?!
I have a drunk 6th sense to lyrics of songs i dont know. It only works when i dance..
Nobody is wearing shirts anymore. What is happening.
Look at the bright side...I have an 11 inch penis
I dont want to tell you. Lets just say that a lot of things are reminding me of your dick right now
Did you write "I hope this gives you aids" on my box of capn crunch?
Before you become official, we should get a hotel room and fuck our brains out. Sort of like a going away party for your penis.
You force fed me chocolate chips and avocados for 3 hours and kept asking me about my trip to sweden when I was 4.
Your life is one shit show away from being a lifetime movie.
Your the only person I know that needed stiches after a Monday morning conference call. How are you in your 20s? How
Yeah i like want to be friends with him. And if we have sex in the physics library well thats fine with me
I pour the whiskey from now on
Guess who's now on the no-fly list? If you guessed me, you'd be right.
No just a list of 20 of my favorite things
Where are penises on the list
Where am I on the list
Under penises
Did you mark a random day on my calendar as National Seth Day?
Sounds like a legit day to me.
Randomize
