ARI BLEW A 2.0 HAHAHAHAHAHHAHH THESE COPS ARE SO COOL!!!!
T-minus about 54 seconds until I am too high to speak English.
I'm jealous
My throat feels like a candle.
There was a reason that "Throat Warrior 2011" was written on my martini glass. He said my title was undisputed.
It was perfect I came I passed out in his comfortable bed then a glass of jack Daniels fell from the bed post and spilled all over my face
She asked me to go inside, make myself a drink and slip into something a little more naked.
they superglued a cigarette to my fingers...i think I need to quit smoking.
Went to an open-bar law school party and puked in front of Justice Scalia. My legal career is now complete -- I literally got judged by a U.S. Supreme Court Justice. Can't get any higher than that.
Dunno yet. Probably just gonna play the s.t.d. russian roulette game with random bartenders at the beach again. Same 'ol same 'ol
You had your shirt off checking IDs at the door and you don't even work there
You were greeting everyone with " Hi I'm Jess show me your dick" whether they were dudes or not.
so he had an ashton kutcher Kelso haircurt. dude, we're in our mid to late 20s, I don't think we can ridicule guys for having hair anymore.
I wish my nipples were as well behaved as yours.
If you're signed up as "sober sister" can you do cocaine or nah
It was some weird herd predator-evasion instinct. All 15 of us took off running in different directions, and the two cops just stood there, perplexed. They had no idea who to chase.
Well, we went shopping. He bought me starbucks and ate me out in the change room at target. If that isnt the best post covid first date, I don't know what is
Randomize
