Full bush! Can't stay! Need ride! Come on bro!
We're so high we're finding things in the room to build a submarine with. So far we have two cardboard boxes, a piece of wood, puffy paint, and an empty bottle to use as a periscope.
Trying to guess which perfume the stripper was wearing based on my bf's clothes
In your defense, I really thought capturing that alligator would have been a lot more awesome and a lot less tragic.
RIP Mr Bojangles.
At least in the future when we're all real people we can laugh about the time we all had scabies together?
Show him your tits if he says no
They're not help-me-out-of-jams tits. They're I-fake-people-into-thinking-they-look-good tits.
I totally just somersaulted to the bathroom to avoid moving out of my fetal position
I don't know if I should be concerned or impressed.
I am too high to deal with coming home to 11 naked people in my living room
Just had my very first high conversation with mom
And you survived it! I'd say that earns you a "Blaze It Like a Real Adult" from the Grown-up Girl Scouts
can I cover your dick in cookie butter?
I am watching xfiles and eating microwaved cookiedough, and I see nothing wrong with it.
You either got a dog, or you have a boy over. I can't tell from the noises which it is.
Tonight I'm getting fucked up for America because Lord knows we need it.
What are you gunna do with your life today
put it back together
It was probably the night you were half naked and trying to blow everybody, guy or girl.
this is me we're talking about here. You're going to have to be more specific than that.
Randomize
