woke up in my one night stand's bed and barfed all over her floor. she came back from the bathroom, looked at the vomit, looked at me and said "normally i'd tell you to clean it and get the fuck out, but i remember the sex was good, so i'll let it go." Score.
i no longer feel bad for not doin my schoolwork. im watching a porn in french. this MUST qualify as studying.
100% of annual heatstroke fatalities are preventable deaths! Don't let it happen to you! Also, you can catch crabs from almost anything! Be safe and have fun.
Peed in a sink tonight. That drunk. I'm not proud of myself for what I did. But to carry it out with such class. I should be awarded
I just realized the only way to play Edward forty-hands is commando in a skirt. This intelligence kick is really doing me justice.
Because you stood over the Ice luge screaming STONE COLD and poured beer on everyone
This guy is walking around with a deer head on. Honestly what the fuck
Thought I was doing makeup today for a photo shoot for a short film. WRONG. Try I'm on the set for a Fucking Sci-Fi PORN.
Last night I went outside to our neighbors and asked them to put in money with me to get a hot tub for our patio. Niceeeee
Sorry for peeing on you and your bed last night.
It isn't about the beer pong. It is about the destruction of the patriarchy.
You just had sex during the movie Radio. This is an all time low
Usually it's tequila, or vodka. But today was just the devil
So we were fooling around last night and suddenly Like A Virgin popped up on his itunes
OMG haha What did he say?
He told me that if I laughed, I would have to leave.
quit whining, rub some dirt on it, and lets get out there
its my penis
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