i wonder what megan fox's vagina feels like.
Heaven soaked bacon.
He about cried when I ordered pizza online. He said it was a miracle.
Your sister got a Brazilian yesterday. It looks great
The Rock is playing the tooth fairy. I can't believe I used to smell what that man was cooking
Now we are really drunk and her 17 yr old cousin is shitfaced. He may or may not have proposed a toast to octopuses and double fisting. And we just drank to Mexico.
it wasnt like "sexy" or whatever. like...she was smiling just standing there butt ass naked
tasteful.
How are YOU going to look? Buying 40's on Christmas eve.
The mystery gender stripper never showed up with that party burrito last night.
I mean I sucked his dick at 3 AM... UNDERWATER. I think I have earned a follow back on twitter.
The band last night was really good
That was definitely karaoke. Guess that answers my follow up question on how drunk you were.
He said I took his samurai sword off his wall and proceeded to jump off his porch at people coming home from the bar.
Only you would get a side of potential vagina with your sandwich
Note to self, the correct response when a guy tells you he likes you as a person is not "ew"
This is the nicest bathroom I've ever been drunk in. The urinal is gold.
bonging vodka is the same level of "good idea" as eating machetes
Randomize
