He has a tattoo of a carebear. This is not happening.
dude he was laying on two half-naked chicks, as they rubbed him down with lotion, while rolling a joint. hes like a modern-day african king
this is not the time for floating mt dew and shots of tequila.
All I know is she had me sitting on the kitchen floor with her little Pomeranian eating potato chips And shredded cheese. I don't even know dude. I don't even know.
when was she peeing in the stairwell? why dont i remember this?
....because generally we only remember 40% of the night each, and have to fill eachother in. And that still leaves 20% that we will never know and its probably for the best
So my dad just walked in on me with the same girl twice in 3 nights. I told him if he wants to see her tits to adleast admit it. All he did was smirk.
Because i love you. And people show love by not letting their friends shit themselves.
I DON'T EVEN KNOW ONE MINUTE IM SITTING HER THE NEXT IM FLYING PASSED THE MOON
PISSING MYSELF IN ZERO GRAVITY
THOSE AIN'T STARS U SEE TONIGHT GURL
I've already dropped her on the ground of a crowded bar dancing , been incoherent drunk to the point i couldn't speak and came within 2 seconds all on separate evenings so at this point she should know what I'm about
I have to stop letting him stay all weekend. I feel like a cored apple.
Just to clarify, I'm still tripping balls
On an unrelated note, I've come up with a theory of everything
tried to suck my ex boyfriends dick last night at a bar... Happy homecoming from me to you
I CAN SPEAK THE LANGUAGE OF THE ANIMES.
He really is. Owns his own house and has more than one towel!
He ate me out in the warehouse on a pallet of sunlight soap. I fucking love night shift!
Randomize
