Buying beer for freshmen. No matter what they ask for, I'm getting them Colt 45.
It's a Westpoint/Army thing, we talk about Miley Cyrus a lot
Why?
Because when is jailbait ever not funny? Answer: Never
Walk of shame... his parents made me go to church with them first. in my club top sweat pants and slippers. i just slapped god in the face
You told me alcohol would be the death of you then ordered 10 shots of tequila.
Would love to except that I crashed into a hearse in a funeral procession about an hour ago so I think that pretty much put an end to my day.
This girl just stopped in the middle of a sentence because of my blue eyes. She said she got lost in them. I am laying pipe tonight.
she drove 3 hrs one way just to sleep with me. I felt bad complaining about paying for condoms.
I told him I would only take his calls if he was dead, dying, capturing a midget, or buying me shots.
I stand by my new policy.
Told some chick I'm a virgin, on my way to her house as I type this. Debating crying afterwards to fuck with her head.
i've been hiding in the laundry chute for like thirty minutes from her. not my manliest moment. but dude this is awesome
The last thing I remember was naked hot tub and taking a shot and using the hot tub water as a chaser. Not acceptable.
This morning I found four opened yet full beers on my desk and my towel rack pulled off the wall and in bed with me
Goddamn it Peter ur the only person i know who can make going down on a girl a competition.
She won. Twice.
In my defense, who let the drunk girl run around with a sack of broken glass unsupervise?
Normal people find beers in their gym bag, right?
Randomize
