just throwing this out there: period starts tomorrow sooo either sex tonight or not until tues/weds.
i get a bj anyways so it's really your choice.
k i'll be over in 5.
Are you pooping in the stall next to me?
Maybe....
Cause I just heard a fart and it sounded like one of your farts.
First day at work... I clogged up the office toilet on purpose to assert my dominance.
He's basically like a fancy dildo that buys me dinner.
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I can promise you that this new years eve will rival the one from senior year when we got that exchange student deported.
Don't look him in the eyes, it like looking at the sun but instead of burning your retinas it makes you wet and vulnerable
I look like one classy bitch running in heels through my backyard while carrying a small dog and a large bottle of booze. How am I still single?
Seems like you've kicked summer 2012 off well.
If he tries to stick his thumb up my butt again im going to rip his dick off with my vagina
I told you those kegels would come in handy one day
I vaguely remember Matt shouting something about "GET ON MY LEVEL!" at the bartender before he attempted to order a case of tequila from him.
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These kids are nice. Shrooms make everything so nice.
I was sitting here smiling wondering why i'm so fucking happy at work. cookie has kicked in
I really need to get to the point where I can poop at his house. I’ve taken three shits on the way home already.
So I slept with some guy last night and when I woke up in the am couldnt remember his name. I text him n asked "How do you spell your name?" to try n find out and all he replied was "With an A." WTF!?
I suppose writing him up is more professional than keying his car.
What's the point of having a gay best friend if he doesn't play with your titties?
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