i bought a pregnancy test with dimes. Is that trashy?
could you clean the juice and feathers off my bed I'm just not up for hangover cleaning.
Just made nicotine water. Ithink i'm having a heart attack.
i just keep picturing us drunk surrounded by kittens.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
One good thing out of all this is her ass is huge. Like Australia Big.
Going through my bras is like traveling back in time through my past hookups and relationships....
He drunkenly stumbled over to me and told me my "crotch looks spectacular tonight"..... i think this could work
Trying to Jedi mind trick myself into not throwing up. This is not the esophagus you are looking for.
I was figuring I'd break up with her after work, but before Taco Tuesday
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
went out last night. woke up with a lisp.
He just felt my tits to find out which piercing I lost.
I PUT IT IN THE UNIVERSE THAT I WANTED TO STAB HIM AND THEN SOMEONE DID! KARMA IS A BITCH AND SHE IS BEAUTIFUL!
I am sweating Crown. It all went wrong when the ratio hit 50-50
If I get back to the house before you, I'm setting up the swing. If you get there before me, it's chains and cuffs.
the awesomest thing about staying behind in our lame ass dorm room by myself during spring break: I've now nutted in 3 inconspicuous locations on your side of the room. brag to me again about how fucking awesome tahoe is you shithead. I dare you.
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