I wanna do crazy things to you in a tent
fuckk wrong person
.. who was that for? a girlscout?
I was rubbing the clit just like wikipedia told me to.
Have u Seen that eharmony commercial where the guy goes " I don't know how I could love her anymore, but tomorrow I will'. Yeah that guy should kill himself
Damn it if I pass out in the bathroom one more time this month im going to rehab...
I don't remember her missing an ear while we were at the bar
Of course he wants me there for his birthday. If a girl offers you a blowjob for every year of your life, you're gonna want her to be there.
I swallowed for you. Answer the phone.
look in the field by the highway and see if there is a high heel there. Or some Taco Bell bags.
eating on the run again ?
I'm so hungover I can't taste anything
She didn't complain to the library attendant about us being too loud. She complained after you grabbed her highlighter off the table to stir vodka into your tumbler with.
I just did a shot of Jameson and two shots of cuervo. Note: this is the moment things went down hill
Would it be wrong to text my ex and say "congratulations on the new baby that you had with a stripper"?
I called you daddy and let you stick things in my butt, I am a damn 11.
It wasn't until I lost my earring that I realized "I've been here before". Turns out we fucked a year ago. We've decided to make it a tradition.
Walk of shame through Chipotle? Check.
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