if im not pregnant im gonna be so pissed for spending the money from my weed fund on the test
wow, a mother in the making
You were walking around with a baby carrier pretending your vodka was a baby. You tried to get pictures on santas lap
He just asked if I would make his black snake moan. Dating basketball players is not worth the glory
There was an ice luge. Lets just leave it at that.
he was holding the bottle like a running back yelling for security and the national guard as he was being tackled
In mid-threesome, need more condoms. Wearing a sheet to the gas station. I'll keep you posted
it is a toga and you are a goddess.
I dunno. It's not as good as 'devourer of cocks' but I suppose few things are.
She said I looked exactly like my dad. Then she made out with me. Should I be questionable?
I'd like to request an "its my birthday discount", and for you to bartend shirtless tonight ;)
I just recorded myself pooping, then uploaded to google drive, then connected to my pc through teamviewer then downloaded it, then played it to the living room while still pooping. God I love the internet.
Here's what I don't understand. How does anyone watch you eat mayo for 12 minutes and then ever fuck you again??
My idiot ex texted me on Valentine's day to tell me I was right, he did need a therapist.
i just sneezed the second i jizzed and it got in my eye. words can't describe how much i hate life right now.
Dude. I just got a visual of u climbing over a bathroom stall to save my life.
There is a sex dungeon behind the wine cellar. This is why I hate showing foreclosures.
Randomize
