If you had to guess, would you say that as a species, midgets are more or less flammable than humans?
Less. Duh. They have less combustible mass.
Just passed a sign for an "adult food and fuel superstore". Wtf does that even mean?
im not sure but a few things come to mind which just makes me giggle
Guys should not giggle. Ever.
I would have added her but her profile pic was piece of pie
Woke up wearing just a scarf, the holidays are definetly here
what is the most politically correct way to ask if he still hangs out with the guy that has blue hair and make meth in his car?
She gave me head because I gave her my pack of cigarettes...And you said quitting would be hard.
I actually didn't mind her sub-par blowjob skills.. It took me back to a time when skipping class was noticed, and my liver didn't look like a worn out shoe
I pretended I didn't remember seeing him hookup with that freshman, and he pretended he didn't remember seeing me hookup with that old guy. We have a beautiful and unawkward friendship.
They were so big her bra clasped in the front. Didn't even know those existed.
you know, i'm always afraid you're going to think i only want you for sex because i only text you when i'm horny
speaking of, guess what i'm thinking about
I have no idea how but i got a hold of a blue food dye packet. And proceeded to rub it all over my tits. So yeah i'd say its safe to say i'll be known as smurfette for a while
I remember grabbing your ass. So firm. So right. I don't regret it.
his penis was like the majestic horn of a unicorn and I came like a million trumpeting rainbows.
I woke up with a pube in my teeth...I'm disturbed cause we're both clean shaven
I swear 2020 just keeps getting worse and worse
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