You bring the bicep workout. I'll bring the unscented gentle products. We'll both bring our penises.
I'm at a party with half naked strippers driving in a little kids battery powered mustang around a stipper pole in his bedroom
The next time i black out make sure i remove the ping pong balls from my weave. Especially before my first day of classes.
It's hard to be judgmental of others when you are wearing silver pleather.
So last night I taught an old homeless dude to respond to "Blue" so I could shout your my boy Blue at the party
I'm wearing spiderman underwear, the question is what am I NOT capable of
You tried to steal my pants at 3am saying they were yours and somebody was gonna die, not cool dude
...I watched him run on the beach yesterday and I think I started ovulating
Lol, yeah it'll be fun,but will it be cereal and dick pics fun?
I may be a complete scumbag but even im not willing to spend a grand and sit on a plane for 24 hours just for shrooms and a blowjob
Honestly it was like 3 AM and I only agreed to go to the strip club because I wanted chicken tenders
Wish me luck on my new penis adventure
I am drunk and aggressive about the olympixs
It's spelled Olympics
How far are you from my house? Do I have time to masturbate before you get here?
Look. All I'm saying is that if the USWNT can win a shit ton of medals and have two gay love stories with happy endings, there's still hope in this world
Randomize
