Ugh I have so many sins to confess tmw at church, you just made me think of many more I've made on that street alone
Bro, I met the coolest hottest chick tonight and she has the hottest friends.
Where are you?
Strip Club
Soooo billy mays was on coke. I'm about as shocked as I was when Clay Aiken came out
PS: the photo I uploaded for this internship site is the same one i used for my fake ID. I like to keep it classy.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You know you have a great job when you need a DD home from work at 6pm.
so the party was at my house but some how i ended up being the only one who slept outside
I'll probably just lay on my couch bra-less sipping wine out of a straw so I don't have to lift my head.
I wasnt going to have sex with him until i ran into his gf at chipotle. It was like the gods were saying "Go ahead. Shes already had her burrito for the day"
He asked me out while I'm back in town. I have to acknowledge and honor his persistence.
Your vagina must be laced with cocaine...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She face-timed me on the toilet. My dick is never going to recover from that.
That guy is like a clown car of sexy. Just when I think I've seen it all, THERE'S MORE.
AND SOME IN THE TRUNK.
I'm high. The text bubbles floating do no justice to the underwater experiences
Do you know how hard it is to put a bandaid on a vagina?
You 2012 self promised me that you would do LSD with me, and it's 2015 now. So.
Plus, I'm basically a doctor, so what could go wrong.
This is seriously fucking awkward. My favorite sex scene just started and my dad's still here. He offered me Cheetos.
Randomize