Somerville?? What the hell are you going to do there?
Watch a movie and have sloppy make outs OBVI. 45 Harris St. in case I die.
in retrospect, sexting while high was a mistake - I meant to say "I'll fuck you stupid, baby" but of course I said "I'll fuck your stupid baby"
i totally forgot about the coupon that said i would show him how i pleasure myself.
Minivans at bars can only lead to bad things.
Nothing says "You're all grown up now" like setting up your 401k with shitty underwear.
I was so hungover that I had to stop in the middle of the game and throw up. The fans cheered.
he then proceeded to tear down my curtains, wrap them around his waist, and use the rod as his "rod"... you tell me how drunk he is...
I hid a girl's boot last night so I could ransom it back this morning via the "blowjobs for boots" program.
Lazier than spoon feeding yourself popcorn and debating adult diapers so you don't have to leave the mentalist marathon on tv?
The last thing I remember is crying and shaking my head as she was putting salt on my hand. I guess I took the shot
GOD DAMMIT TARYN WHY DO WE ALWAYS HAVE TO ROB PLACES IN OUR FUTURE PLANS?!
Your anal douche was on bathroom counter. Now it's in dumpster. Not ok. I am mad. Very mad.
like are we talking 'quick beer' bad or 'break out the real vodka' bad
i need to stop establishing animals as safe words. Giraffe and Penguin are really awkward words to say during sex
I just bought a blender and 120 pizza rolls. Bring tequila.
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