How drunk are you??
I'm flawless.
Springtime is officially here. I just used pool water to fill up the bong
She even gives head with a lisp.
When my alarm went off, he rolled over and asked me: Bacon or dick? Yes, I will see him again.
I peed glitter this morning and had a beard drawn on my face with eyeliner. Last time I do shots with gay Dan.
He asked me if we could throw a lingerie party together so I guess he's single again
That's right. I did.
You are the saddest 25 year old gay man I've ever had the displeasure of knowing.
all I'm saying is that my epic blow jobs have made grown professional football players cry in ecstasy
I feel like a girl who eats her problems away with fast food.
When all else fails, you can always look down at your enormous penis.
We got to his house, cuddled while watching game of thrones, then fucked during the repeat airing.
I just saw a kid on iowa campus story that looked like the guy i made out with on spring break.
Basically I think I'm replacing men/sex with theme parks.
i have too much dick at my disposal? i should make them fight. best dick pic gets laid
I kinda wanna drive through the Gator bar parking lot and seeing if my panties are on they ground, they should be right next to my pride...
It’s awful. They need to open the bars. I’m now trolling grocery stores looking for dick
Randomize
