May i just say it is extremely difficult to pee in a cape
You're so easy to please, it's adorable. Like an alcoholic puppy.
I didnt believe in cockblocking untill my roomate brought home that.
We decided to have a girls night of four lokos, three of us cried and the other puked
i offered her breakfast shots. she politely declined.
Dude they have your information. Come back. The sheriffs office is here, they are pissed..please come back otherwise jail is inevitable. Call me
Between the booze, mechanical bulls, and penis's I think my body hates it when I'm single
My date just wheeled me home in a shopping cart but it was normal
His reasoning for leaving the keys in the ignition of my car overnight with the top down in an open parking lot ? Too eager to have sex. The sex was not that good for him to do this twice....
In two unrelated events today I have had frostbite on my toe and cum up my nose. Who says life stops when you get married?
yeah im watching him make his speech now. cant take him seriously tho. hes talking about funding for education and all i can think about is how ive seen what he looks like wearing womens underwear...
So he has moved up to a stage 5 clinger...Surprised he didn't try to lure you into bed with tacos, like he did last time
Yeah... akward. I don't want a round 2
Woke up way too warm in the middle of a spooning sandwich. Was working up a rant about still not wanting a threesome. Then I realized the littlest spoon was the dog. Might need to break up anyway.
So um... You probably shouldn't post that picture of me and your crotch just because that's a new level of raunchiness that I'm not willing to accept yet
Feel free to drag me back to reality at your convenience
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