Yeah, i think she was German or something.
No dude, she's just got a speech impediment.
Too bad my picture didn't come thru. It was one of me naked riding a unicorn with a wizard hat and a magic staff. And the unicorn had wings. And me too.
We should takd a huggy cab to snuggle bunnyville
some girl had on jean underwear. i hate america.
so last night my mother drunkenly told me that maybe the reason why I want to be a vet was because I was conceived doggy style.
he recorded me cumming with the t-pain app on his iphone
Ryan Howard.... the only guy who struck out more than me this weekend
He's hinting that I'm starting to be kicked out of their blunt rides, I can feel it.
Bisexual Viking-cowboy hybrid is at the bar again
Dibsssss
THERE IS A WINE CUBE IN MY ASS THIS IS NOT GOING AS PLANNED
which one of you assholes put my new jeans down the garbage disposal?!
I'm drawing the line at your vagina. I will not accompany you to get that pierced and/or tattooed. There's got to be some mystery to our relationship.
Is it a coincidence that the reminder on my phone to take my birth control is "I'm ready to party" from Bridesmaids?
Masturbating to death wouldn't be a terrible way to go. If you die tonight, I'll know how it went down. Promise not to tell your family.
omg last night while walking home from your house I stole a seatless bike and carried it into my next door neighbors kitchen.. we just looked It up online it's an antique and worth $500 dollars
Randomize
