fyi, i just bought my first strap-on. the little mermaid theme song was playing in the background.
I think I just got a contact from my own exhale. Def dying.
he's my ex-boyfriend's best friend... he tried to make out with me to prevent me from hitting his friend. then they almost fought about it.
teach me your ways.
God you people are gross. Come collect your unconscious friend.
what's the appropriate greeting for someone whose bed you've had sex with someone else in?
whats our policy on dating high schoolers?
we dont have a policy but im pretty sure the state of michigan does
For graduation he gave me roses, a giraffe necklace, and a butt plug. I think this might be my one shot at true love
Go tell your boss to go fuck himself because you have beer and doritos and zombies waiting on you
my mom tried to talk to me about my drinking, i somehow turned it around on her, now shes going to AA and I'm going to the bar.
Take off your clothes and see if he wants to have sex, that's a good way to find out
The highlight of the night was definitely when you starting telling ppl you could shapeshift and "proved" that by stripping.
it doesn't matter what you do now, you will forever be known as the girl who fell off the roof
nooooo! we need to brain storm. I need rebranding....what if I start always showing up with my cat or a wacky hat?
try again roofio
please god let this picture I just uploaded not have my vagina in it
It was get out of line and go pee and get no beef briskit. Or stay in line, pee my pants, but have beef briskit. I really wanted my beef briskit
Don't drink and try to take a shower. I thought I was drowning
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