I'm calling you out on twitter if you don't come over right now.
Tampa is so boring. I'm dying. I want lots of cleavage at my funeral. If i cant get laid, i want my friends to. I'm that kind of person
I told my boyfriend my favorite food was strawberry poptarts, now my email inbox is getting spammed with nude pics of him with his dick in a poptart box..
jersey shore drinking game rules must be edited. almost died. how is it possible for a person to say guido that many times
Dude I think I vomited on the wireless internet box too...it isnt working.
There is NOTHING better than watching a child being chased by an ostrich.
you know you've made it when it's your own pool table you're waking up on
I don't know what he sees in her. All I see are horrible pancake nipples
I no longer exist. I have transformed into a puddle of sex.
Using the money underagers give me to buy this semesters books.. My mom would be so proud
I don't want to go back to the suburbs. Being drunk in public isn't ok and theres too many children. Don't make me.
It's 5AM and I just stirred weed butter into ramen noodles. This is not where I expected to be at 30. ...But, hey, getting high off noodles.
I'm crying during the second episode of Golden Girls that's how high I am.
hahahaha classic. this is why you are going to a college with a hospital right next to it
Don't care if they even pay me; I lifeguard for the fringe benefits -- free tourist vagina in the Hilton jacuzzi every single night
Randomize
