we're blogging at a bar
I AM OVULATING LIKE A STEAM ENGINE.
It was a two-sided wall so part of my body ended up in someone elses condo.
Either way, we will celebrate half Christmas the only way we can. Completely and irresponsibly wasted.
I remember because you made a pirate noise when you came.
PS my house is a mess.
pps I have a rash on my face.
I just ate cottage cheese and went to the gym at 6 this morning...the things i'll do because I might get naked in front of a new boy
Is it bad that I recognize every dick in your dic pic collection?
I'm out of milk so I'm dunking my Oreos in Bailey's; this is my life now.
We watched Purple Rain and then proceeded to have sex while listening to the album. If that's not exactly how Prince would want people to honor him, I don't know what is
You were so drunk you told some dude your life story in one short sentence... and kissed his fiancé. You're invited to the wedding.
WE JUST PASSED A FUCKING SPACE SHIP! NOT JOKING! A REAL FUCKING SPACE SHIP! THIS IS NOT THE DRUGS! SPACE! SHIP!
He went down on me while I was on the phone with my grandma.
What’s the level of adulting when you reschedule a dentist appointment to have a threesome?
Sorry I didn't have my phone all night. Did we hang last night?
You bit me
Oh lord I need to hear this story
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