:( I'm sorry!!!
sexual favors sorry?
absolutely not
I'm not going to blow you while you look at fish on the internet.
worst lay ever....
as long as you cum, there is no bad sex
ya... thank god for condoms, I was able to fake it... I stand by my original statement
I love my roommate; her alcohol problem, her proclivity for passing out on the living room couch, and her fucking awesome size d tits that can never remain clothed. Craigslist jackpot.
Yeah? Well I'm currently predrinking downstairs in my room by myself. Absolut and water with a hint of mint because I'm using the glass I keep my toothbrush in. Fuck, you bitches better get off work soon.
The nursing school interview showed me a picture of my passed out during your party. They asked if this was a frquent thing. I told them you drugged me.
Can we talk about the fact that I plucked weed off your ass this morning like it's a normal thing to do?
I forgot that I thought it would be a good idea to hairspray my toilet seat last night after I took 12 shots of vodka so when I just went to pee, I stuck to the toilet. Never drinking again.
The cougar has a calendar on her wall of when she can give topless handjobs again. I pity her husband.
No need to talk. Eventually, he'll either stop coming over, or decide that it's a relationship.
And if not?
...I keep getting free bourbon and great sex with no expectations. You really don't understand that there is no "down side," do you?
This is the most boring acid ever. I feel like a child. But thats okay, I've been a child before, its nothing new.
Well he's a 33 year old furniture salesman that picked up at 19 year old buying a bedroom set for her room. I can see how that would be awkward
I gave him a BJ and he left. Coincidentally that's the name of my memoir.
I have put on lipstick and signed up for class. Nothing more shall be expected of me today.
I’m going to Lewinsky this place
That makes no sense, but it sounds terrifying
Randomize
