Skipped a towel and decided to spit the cum into his face. I now owe him new contacts.
i got iced as i was inside of her. i fucking hate my friends
dude you cant keep breaking into my house just to raid my fridge.. especially at 3AM.
He had seven beers and tap-danced on the table like a pro. HOW DOES HE DO IT
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
is there a way to sugar-coat "shes in jail" when someone is texting me asking where their friend is?
He ended our Skype call with, "I'm going to poop and then go play my ukulele in the park."
You were dancing with a coffee pot of rum in one hand and a joint in the other. So that should explain everything.
You shouldn't do laundry high cus pink.
you regret 100% of the tequila shots you do take. thats what gretzky meant to say
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
If I ever go to Canada, I'm fucking the maple syrup out of his Canadian ass.
At some point, you're going to have to talk to a tree and do what it says
I didn't think this needed to be said, but our sexts are an emoji free zone
Listen I don't care what it's called as long as it's drugs
Promise me if ever I think I can't do anything, remind me that I waxed my own butthole
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