I just claimed my unemployment in Vegas. This seems wrong.
I appreciate the offer. Swallowing pride is much like swallowing cum, difficult and unpleasant
But it was well worth it to see a man fly through the air in a beaver costume...
A beer fell out of the case, hit the ground and started spraying. He's a pro. He grabbed it and shotgunned it while still holding the case.
There was a photo of his face glued to a lifesize Kim Kardashian cutout. By the end of the night he was doing shots out of medicine cups and making everybody hug it goodbye.
I am thinkingif I am doing snow Angels in your living room, I probably had too much to drink
You fought the bouncer and lost, then challenged a hobo to a 40 chugging contest and lost. Sobriety is a good life choice.
Well, I want to see you regardless of whether or not you will lick whipped cream off my body.
Im at target. Idk why I'm buying condoms AND a tutu for my cat. No one who dresses their cat up has ever gotten laid.
You told her to step on the scale because you had whiskey goggles, and scales don't lie.
You kept yelling "wood grain wheel" and grinding on fat chicks.
The hell is wrong with me
He kept squeezing my butt and telling me how smart I was
Drank your wedding present. Sorry
I ended up in th ER yelling my height weight and age
she bought my drinks all night, made me breakfast in the morning, and let me use her expensive hair products before i left. best one night stand ever.
Randomize
