dude sorry but u no that when a guys 'likes' ur pic on facebook it only means he was just jacking off to it.
"I could never have "feelings" for someone who, at one point, wanted to "hate fuck" my face."
i threw up in a box in my own lap driving today.
My roommate made me a peanut butter and sprinkles sandwich. Maybe tonight isn't that bad
Between the hair pulling and the choking its its more like combat than sex
Sorry I have an "Operation Iraqi Freedom" fantasy
I just had to beg some random guy to help me climb through your porch window since the door was locked. FYI...i hear you having sex in there. You could of at least taken a break to unlock the damn door. WTF!!!
I'm high and I have a consensual booty call on the way and just thought that it was a good time to let you know that I think that you are a stellar person.
No but I was fuckin done when I realized my acrylic nail caught fire when I was hitting the bong.
I left the bar I'm on a bench across from the bowling alley taking a nap please come get me. I've had three lollipops.
So I can officially say that someone has licked whipped cream off my nipples. Go senior year
Well... I got her number now... I think she is a dish best served drunk
Unless he's under 18, in which case you put him back where you found him this instant.
lol I'll trade you jello for a tampon
what a trade!
My life is far to together for someone who's such a hot mess inside
He’s exactly what I’m looking for: he’s got a broken heart, a working penis and a new boat!!!
Randomize
