too bad you live with your parents still
drunk at some random house party. come get me. i thought i pulled my dick out to go piss... it was my left nut. im soaked.
That fat broad you banged out last night is still here and I can hear her snoring through the living room wall. I would leave, but I don't want to come home to an empty fridge.
Small penises have feelings too.
She gave him HEAD floating down the river in a tube as big a a tire. I just don't know how to compete with that sort of level of slut.
It's like a puppy that we have to take care of at all times or else she'll get sad, lonely, and chew on the furniture. And by 'chew on the furniture', I mean have anonymous sex.
I IMAGINED YOU YELLING SURPRISE WITH JAZZ HANDS. AND I LOVE YOU FOREVER
By early evening I was shouting at the deeply Christian girl to suck my dick inbetween snorting lines of gatorade powder.
I want to name my colorful bowl Batman. Why? I still have yet to figure it out. But I'm calling it Batman.
Two days later and my throat is still sore. That bong is a double edged sword.
She's passed out with a slice of pizza between her boobs should I just eat it and leave
I don't know what's worse the fact that I woke up with a clit piercing or the fact that I didn't pay for it.
I am serious when I say I think I broke a rib having sex with Kyle. It might be puncturing my lung. No lie. I might die today.
So when did "Are you okay?" translate into "Don't tell me you got fucked by another rando after another rager"?
It’s just a penis. It’s like every other penis except it’s not the one you’re married to. Ride it or don’t ride it, but don’t agonize about it
Your not going to hell because you need some strange and the neighbor noticed you look damn good in a bikini
Randomize
