Don't cheat on me with the blonde bimbo religi freak
I wouldn't touch her with a ten foot pole
She's blonde
Even Lady Gaga hates Purdue
I know we didn't hook up because i was still wearing my fanny pack in the morning
Just found custom condoms. Guess I'm not getting any work done today.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I hope you remember pushing the girl off the stage because you said she wasn't good at pole dancing.
Just walked out of my apartment and came face to face with a shirtless dude playing with his balls and trying to tie his shoes.
So it sounded like a midget was barfing IN our walls again this morning ...
Ok despite the fact that both you and I love dick we could have a great marriage
I may have just tried to argue quantum entanglement as the reason I was still in her bed.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm gonna be the best dressed mother fucker to ever get kicked out of that damn bar.
Congrats. You made me have an orgasm in Starbucks.
he called me ma'am when we were fucking last night...he's five years older than me. I think I'm in love.
I'm going to target high, just in case I ask you where my paycheck went later
it's your last night here, let's make it one we may or may not remember.
What doesn't this kid understand that our relationship is not going past the blacked out blowjob I gave him on his birthday?
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