OMFG I JUST SAW SOMEONE GIVING SOMEONE ELSE ROAD HEAD AND THEY HIT A POTHOLE. my day has been officially made.
idk why but i just wanna to have sex with the idea of him. i don't even wanna meet him.
jack dropped his pants and said "bet u've never seen a dick this big." which was really sad cuz i had never actually seen one that small...you have like pinch it between ur thumb and pointer finger to give a HJ
the line runs infront of fredricks of hollywood. it's like gamestop is showing me how pathetic I am.
She sang Bad Romance to me. Not really the answer I was looking for.
Rooting for you and your team in the Beer Olympics this afternoon...! Love you, Mom
How do I invite him to our 4th of July cookout without sounding too much like "hey you were my first orgasm and I want your dick inside my while watching fireworks"
I got concerned once i realized you weren't there to hear us having sex. See I do worry about you.
My backyard is filled with beer cans. You idiots turned our backyard into a redneck ball-pit
I don't think you understand. I woke up under the car. At 3 am. In the club parking lot.
I think we r still a few steps from ex sex. In fact, that's never going to happen. I'm just saying on the seething-chemical-fire-of-emotional-distress-to-post -relationship-intercourse scale, I'm closer to fucking than throttling. Progress is fun.
I need you there. I need someone to glance at when other people inevitably annoy me.
Every time you talk about your facial hair I immedately get horny
Please come to class. I miss you and I have a horse mask
I am not even ashamed to say it, I got laid in the stairwell of the hotel, by a 29 year old. It was awesome!
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