oh posh. I need a real boy. To fill my void. This guy has potential. He is a Republican.
***** and i were talking about Republicans today. They are usually the champs of mediocrity but we decided mediocrity is underrated.
She's just bitter because she lost all the weight only to discover she doesn't have a pretty face after all.
I just remembered we were doing butt clenching exercising with bar straws last night
My poor mother should have just stuffed me back up her vagina when she had the chance.
you left a giant bottle of vodka in my room from last night. does this serve as a parting gift or hush money?
you busted in the room, ripped the covers off of us, ... and fist pumped
We had a complete conversation while I was giving him head, at one point he even stopped me and said 'I love how we're just hanging out.'
in case you blackout.. this is confirmation that yes, you were sitting spread eagle on the kitchen floor chugging pickle juice out of the jar.
It's getting increasingly easier to use his emotional instability to my advantage. That's about all he has going for him right now.
I'm drinking with a guy who is a bigger asshole than me. We started a contest.
She's going to be the first to die of too much illness. Not even super bad stuff like cancer but like for having a cold at the same time as a sore throat and chlamydia or something. Just too much diseases.
This place is a maelstrom of dicks.
I mean as in stuck up bastards, not actual, desirable male genitalia. My point is, come pick me up fast, please!
So I just watched a seagul attack my boss and steal his food in the parking lot. Today might not be a bad day lmfao.
A guy from tinder a while ago who sent me dick pics straight out the gate is a tech on my dad's hospital floor. I was wondering why he looked familiar and why he never took my dads vitals when I was in the room
Get your heels and tits on! I’m not wasting a Brazilian because his fucking kid ate paste or Legos and ruined an afternoon suite sex and room service
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